I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
