id be glad to
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize