happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
