OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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