u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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