So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Just cropdusted the office
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
