I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
as a side note pls kill me
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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