My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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