He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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