should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Randomize
