I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
