i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
