I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
