if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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