so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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