he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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