Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize