I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
