yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
