ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
