I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
