I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
