Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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