you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
