low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
