Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Randomize
