but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
