her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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