Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize