reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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