i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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