Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
