these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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