just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
