I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
