After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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