Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize