Only a mothe r could love this liver
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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