On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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