3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
