Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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