We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize