so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
