can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
