first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Randomize
