Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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