Are we in a gay sports bar?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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