Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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