hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I forgot how hot balto sounded
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
