yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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