Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize