I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
