I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize