They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
