There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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