I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
