HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize