i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
