Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
