remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize