I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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