It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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