Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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