So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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