Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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