living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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