OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
