the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
