then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
