K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Randomize
