About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Randomize
