Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
