no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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