i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize